Bold Christian Living

Many Christians Struggle with balancing the role of Scripture with the role of the Holy Spirit in their lives. The Bible encourages an embrace of both being instructed by scripture, and being led by the Spirit. We have all met people who repeatedly claim, "God told me" this or that. Without denying that God talks to people, we begin to doubt that most of the claims of people hearing His voice are more than just vivid imaginations. On the other hand We have all met people for whom Christianity is a exclusively a matter of studying and applying scripture. Such people can either become extremely disciplined (to the point of evident legalism) or licentious in their application of an understanding of the theory of grace. Is their a proper balance in which neither scriptural truth (being led by the Spirit or being instructed by scripture) is compromised? Consider this parable of three brides.

There were once three young ladies who dreamed of one day marrying husbands. In time, each of them accepted marriage proposals from suitors and entered betrothals. Each of the brides truly loved her bridegroom and wanted to please Him.

It happened that each of the bridegrooms had to be away for an extended time during the betrothal period. Yet each wanted to draw his bride's heart during the period of his absence. Each of them concluded on the same strategy to pursue bonding with his bride.

Each of the bridegrooms had kept a journal up to that point, in which he recorded his experiences, perceptions, thoughts, and dreams. Each of them wanted his bride to know his deepest inclinations, so he entrusted his journal to her, with encouragement to read and ponder what had previously filled his heart.

But each of the bridegrooms also wanted to communicate directly with his bride, despite his absence. So each of them provided his bride with a mobile phone that she could use to call him anytime she wanted to, and each of them had his own mobile phone he could use to call her, as well. However, each of the brides lived in a deep valley where mobile phone reception was erratic. But each bridegroom assured his bride that he would be able to hear her perfectly, and that with the help of the journal he was leaving with her, he would make sure she understood him adequately.

Each of the bridegrooms left with the promise to return for the wedding, but also with the promise to communicate so frequently it would seem like he was still there. Each of the brides delightedly looked forward to reading her bridegroom's journal to learn more about him, and to talking on the mobile phone with him as frequently as possible.

The first bride immediately began reading her bridegroom's journal. There were things in it that she found puzzling, but the more she read it, the more she understood of his background and assumptions. She began to recognize patterns in his life that revealed his deepest inclinations. The more she read, the more she loved him. She was amazed at the things he had done, and how he had responded so nobly to various circumstances. She increasingly realized she was incredibly blessed to be marrying such a wonderful, heroic man.

Soon after his departure, her bridegroom called her on her mobile phone. She was so excited to hear his voice, but the signal was a bit fuzzy. In fact, during their conversation sometimes the signal seemed to cut out almost completely. The bride enjoyed hearing from her bridegroom, but found the lack of clear signal very disconcerting. After talking on the phone, she was glad to be able to get back to the journal.

The more she read the journal, the more she found comfort in it. And one of the things the bride particularly liked about reading the journal was that it never changed. She could ponder a reference until she was confident she understood it, and then move on without having to wonder if she was correctly discerning her bridegroom's meaning.

On the other hand, with each phone call, she became less and less excited about talking with her bridegroom through this medium. She looked forward to his return and their wedding, but as a result of the frequent lack of a clear signal, she came to almost dread the phone calls. Her bridegroom's voice would fade in and out in a most annoying way.

When her friends asked the bride how things were going between her and her bridegroom she would tell of her most recent discoveries in his journal. It was obvious he was her hero, and she was overwhelmed that he had chosen her. She loved him dearly and talked of enjoying sharing their lives together. But the dilemma of the imperfect communication via mobile phones made her focus mostly on his past accomplishments and their future delight.

In time, because the bride was having a hard time hearing the bridegroom's voice, she would call him and do all the talking. He loved to hear her voice, and despite the signal problems, he would listen intently to her heart and could fully understand her intentions even when the words were indistinct. When he would try to respond, she would make it clear that she didn't understand. She would increasingly grow impatient and conclude the conversation without waiting to hear what was currently on his mind. She was confident she knew what he would say, anyway, since she had come to know his inclinations so thoroughly by studying his journal.

As the frustration with the mobile phone mounted, occasionally when her bridegroom called while she was reading his journal, she would find the interruption irritating. In fact, there were times she would simply pretend not to hear the phone at all. After all, it was important that she not allow anything to distract her from getting to know her bridegroom better, and she figured the only sure way was to read his journal.

When the bridegroom did reach her he would sometimes express dismay that she wasn't excited to hear his voice. She assured him that she loved him deeply, and was saturating herself in his journal. She explained that because she was often unsure that she was hearing him correctly on the mobile phone, she feared jumping to incorrect conclusions. He assured her that if she would invest the time in more lengthy conversations, he could explain himself fully, or at least refer her to sections of his journal that would clarify any confusion. But she insisted she felt more secure simply focusing on the journal.

In fact, one time when their phone connection seemed particularly fuzzy, it occurred to the bride that the voice she was hearing could conceivably be someone else, rather than her bridegroom. It had been a long time since he left, and she was not absolutely sure she recognized his voice. This made her feel even more insecure. Each time he called, she was plagued by doubts it was actually him at the other end of the line. She began feeling vulnerable to deception. This made her cling more tenaciously to her devotion to her bridegroom's journal.

One time when she confided her doubts to her bridegroom, he assured her that as long as she read his journal regularly, she would know his inclinations enough to question any deception. And if she talked with him frequently, not only would he enjoy her, but she would come to know his voice so intimately that deception would be impossible.

In time, the bride interpreted one or two of her bridegroom's journal entries as arguing that personal communication on mobile phones was not really trustworthy. Yet she knew he had pled with her to call him frequently. So she concluded that when she called, the safest thing was to keep the ear-piece away from her ear to preclude being deceived. Instead, she projected a monologue into the mouthpiece, while assiduously avoiding listening to any response. She also turned off the ringer on the phone to make sure no deceiver could trick her into answering.

As this pattern became more deeply ingrained, the bride became very confident she understand her bridegroom's heart, from accounts of his past actions and feelings in his journal. Because her fear of deception prompted her to stop listening to him, her memory of what his voice sounded like became increasingly dim. She occasionally lapsed into reminiscences of his endearing words to her, but by now she had developed a logical explanation that allowed her to feel noble for her resistance to listening, in the name of protection against deception.

The second bride, like the first, was initially delighted with her bridegroom's journal and mobile phone. After her groom's departure, this bride's first impulse was to call him on his mobile phone. She was so delighted when he answered the phone. They had a wonderful conversation, and despite the occasional reception difficulties, she rejoiced in the knowledge that her beloved so enjoyed her call. He encouraged her to call any time, promising to call her frequently, as well. He also reminded her that he wanted her to know everything about him, and that his journal was his provision for her to learn of him.

The bride promised to cherish the journal, and to eagerly pursue every opportunity to talk with the bridegroom on the phone. After they hung up, she laid down and reveled in the memory of the words he had spoken to her. She dreamily clung to the mobile phone and lovingly laid his journal on the night-stand beside her bed, promising herself to delve into it the next day.

The next day, upon waking, the bride's first impulse was to call her bridegroom again. He rejoiced to hear her voice and began speaking endearingly to her. But alas, he was almost out of range, and his voice would fade in and out. He could hear her quite well, but could tell from her responses that she was not getting his message clearly.

The bridegroom finally succeeded in asking her if she had begun enjoying his journal. She expressed what a treasure it was to her, but admitted she hadn't actually begun to read it yet. He urged her to do so, explaining that knowing of his past actions and reading his interpretations of them, would help her to understand his motivations more clearly.

She promised to begin reading the journal immediately. As soon as they hung up, she got out the journal and began browsing through its pages. Occasionally she began reading portions, but being a bit overwhelmed at how much there was to read, she continued to primarily scan different sections without reading any one in particular. She sighed as she thought of how much she preferred simply talking with her bridegroom.

Finally, she put the journal down with the idea that she would really begin reading it later in the day. As her day progressed, she occasionally called her bridegroom, and rejoiced that he was so readily available. He also delighted to hear her voice, and welcomed her calls. He asked if she had begun reading his journal, and she assured him she had scanned the whole book in preparation for beginning to read it. He was pleased that she had gotten an overview of his writing, and encouraged her to dive into an intensive exploration of his past.

While the bride was interested in her bridegroom's past, she was much more interested in getting to know his heart now. She thrilled each time he called her, and frequently initiated calls to him. But over the next few days a pattern emerged in which she kept his journal in a prominent place, proudly showing it to her friends, but repeatedly procrastinated actually beginning to read it.

The bride reveled in calling her bridegroom on the mobile phone. Although the phone's reception often was a bit questionable, she delighted to hear his voice. Sometimes, though, she had to guess at what he was saying on nearly every point. Occasionally, she could tell that he was referring to something in his journal, trying to make sure she understood him. She would act as though she was familiar with the reference in question, but he could tell she was jumping to inaccurate conclusions.

From time to time the bride was overcome by guilt at not having fulfilled her bridegroom's wish that she read his journal. Occasionally she would promise herself that she would begin reading it. She would sometimes pick it up and start reading at some random point, or even embark on a systematic plan of reading, but her motivation always began to wane in a brief time, and her reading was never very regular.

Still, she could tell from his calls and responses that her bridegroom loved her and delighted in his conversations with her. She rationalized his obvious disappointment at her unfamiliarity with his journal by assuring him of her longing for him. He would commend and encourage her when he learned that she had read a portion, and she delighted in the depth of conversation such times facilitated. But she seemed to always find other things distracting her from developing a regular pattern of reading.

One time the mobile phone rang and the reception was again poor. The bride could not fully make out what was being said, but made educated guesses based on her past conversations with her bridegroom. But something didn't seem right in this conversation. After she hung up, the bride puzzled over the exchange that had just occurred. She knew she didn't always hear the bridegroom correctly, and sometimes connected the dots incorrectly. But after pondering this new message, she finally figured out what was being said.

Over the next few calls, the bridegroom seemed to be particularly intense in urging his betrothed wife to immerse herself in his journal. He didn't at all want her to diminish their direct contact, but he knew that although he always heard her quite plainly, she wasn't always getting his messages clearly. He wanted her to know his voice, but to also know his ways.

The bride continued to disregard the bridegroom's pleas to familiarize herself with his journal. And increasingly she noticed the phone calls involved surprising messages. During one call the bridegroom reminded her that her mobile phone number might be acquired by others. He assured her that he had a listing of all calls received, and he could help her block harassment by unwanted callers. He also noted that if she was intimately familiar with his journal, she would be better equipped to avoid problems if someone else impersonated him.

She agreed with him, and was comforted by the fact that he had a list of calls made and received. Yet she didn't realize that because mobile phones are not always clear, salesmen and others could call and he might not block calls from strangers that she seemed to welcome. Without realizing it, the bride began to frequently converse with others on the phone she was supposed to be using for communication with her bridegroom. Occasionally she figured out she was talking with someone else, but she found the conversations enjoyable, and didn't want to be rude in cutting off her callers.

The bridegroom realized what was happening, and tried to warn his betrothed wife of the vulnerability she was entertaining. She assured him that her heart was steadfast in her love for him, but he knew she was impressionable, and was exposing herself to subtle seductions. He urged her to study his journal to understand his ways more fully, but by now she had learned to block out questionable suggestions, recognizing that her perceptions weren't always correct. So any time her bridegroom asked her to read his journal she concluded that couldn't be what he really intended. She would assure him of her love for her, and encourage him not to worry.

The third bride, like the first two, was saddened at the departure of her bridegroom. But as he regularly communicated with her, and urged her to call him frequently, she began to see some benefits to their temporary separation. She had initially puzzled at his statement that it was necessary for her that he go away for a time. In fact, because the mobile phone signal was so erratic, she wondered if she had heard him correctly. But then she found that he had actually written this same thing for her in his journal. Now she began to realize that his absence, as long as they continued to communicate frequently and deeply, actually caused her to long for him more than if he was actually present with her.

Right from the start, her bridegroom urged her to read his journal. While she much preferred being with him in person, she found the discipline of reading became an expression of her surrendered devotion to him.

She confessed to him that she really wasn't a very good reader, but he promised to help her understand what she was reading. In fact, in several of their conversations he commented that it was a benefit that she wasn't self-confident that she could read and understand his journal without his help.

The bride would frequently call her bridegroom, and he would even more frequently call her. They delighted in sharing their hearts with one another. Sometimes the mobile phone signal was poor, and the bride couldn't quite make out everything her bridegroom was saying. He assured her he heard her quite clearly, and could immediately tell if she was not clearly understanding what he said.

Typically, when the phone reception was poor and the bride was not correctly comprehending the bridegroom's meaning of something, he would refer her to a passage in his journal that would clarify or illustrate what he was trying to communicate. The more she read of his journal, the more alert she was to his allusions to his past, and to what he had previously written. This pleased the bridegroom greatly, and his pleasure became the bride's great delight.

The more the bride talked with her bridegroom about what was on his heart, the more she realized how handicapped she would be if she was unfamiliar with his journal. This motivated her to spend more time and energy saturating herself in what he had written. The more she read, the more she began to think like he did. When they would talk on the phone, even when the signal was inconsistent, both of them could tell that she was increasingly adept at discerning her bridegroom's intent.

Similarly, the more the bride read of his journal, the more she realized how incapable of understanding his motivations she would be without his help in interpreting what was written. Often she would read him a passage and ask its meaning. He delighted in explaining everything fully to her. He often wrote of his wishes for how his bride would prepare herself. Increasingly she realized that she could easily have applied what he wrote inaccurately if she failed to be in constant contact with him.

Pretty quickly the bride realized what a benefit it was to have her bridegroom on the line each time she read his journal. On one of those occasions she read of his promise to be with her always. Because he was on the line, she asked him how this could be, since they were apart from one another. He gently asked her how accessible he was. She realized he was always accessible, but persisted that there were times when they weren't actually in contact.

It was at this point that bridegroom revealed his actual desire that their conversations would never end. She figured she must have heard him incorrectly, but he referred her to a passage in his journal where he had expressed his desire that his wife would converse with him "without ceasing."

She remembered puzzling over that statement, but now as they talked together, despite the inconsistency of the phone signal, she realized that he was serious. He literally wanted her to stay on the line all the time. Whether she was reading his journal, talking with others, or engaged in other activities, he really wanted to share her life with her. More importantly, he wanted her to be constantly alert to what was on his heart. If they stayed on the line, there would be no guessing at what he thought about something. Thus the bride began using a headphone so she could wear her phone all the time, wherever she was.

As the bride saturated her mind with her bridegroom's journal, she actually memorized a number of particularly delightful sections. In time she became so familiar with what the journal said that she could often accurately predict her bridegroom's words and responses. Similarly, even when she forgot some of the detailed passages, because she was in constant contact with the bridegroom, it didn't take much for him to remind her of exactly what he had written and where it was to be found.

Occasionally she became so confident of her familiarity with his journal that she would neglect to read it regularly. On several of these occasions she was embarrassed to realize she had become overconfident in her capacity to remember how to think like her bridegroom thought. He was always patient with her, but she grieved when she became aware of his disappointment at her flippant overconfidence.

Other times, she would be so immersed in pondering the meaning of some journal passage that she neglected to ask the author its meaning. Occasionally she would even fail to notice that the headset had fallen off her head, and she was simply dealing with things (whether interpreting the journal or other activities of life) without her bridegroom's direction.

On one of these occasions, her bridegroom finally got her attention and she was filled with remorse. He assured her of his forgiveness, but took the occasion to explore with her the purpose of the betrothal period. He helped her understand that this season was designed to prepare her to be alert to him. The communication patterns set during this time would set precedents for their relationship during their marriage.

Thus the bride became increasingly consistent at continually refreshing her mind with what her bridegroom had written while also maintaining constant contact directly with him. As a result, their relationship continually deepened and broadened in anticipation of their wedding.

In one phone conversation, the bridegroom asked his bride whether she preferred reading what he had written or talking directly with him. She had developed such a joy in reading his journal that she hesitated in answering. He noticed the hesitation and laughed. He told her he was glad that she enjoyed his journal so thoroughly. But he also cautioned that the goal of the journal was relationship with him rather than simply knowledge about him. He said that she should guard against thinking she could "search" the journal sections thinking that "in them" she had relationship with him. Properly used, the journal directed her desire toward him rather than toward itself. Improperly used, it could actually replace him in her heart.

In each of the cases the bridegrooms returned for their weddings, and were reunited with their brides. The bride who loved her bridegroom's journal, but despised listening to his voice on the mobile phone, was surprised to realize she really didn't know her bridegroom like she thought she did. In fact, their renewed relationship was rather awkward for her, as she continually found herself wishing she could simply read about the theory behind their relationship rather than releasing herself to enjoy her bridegroom himself. Her bridegroom loved her, but was greatly disappointed in the stiffness that could have been averted had she learned to enjoy him, rather than just wanting knowledge about him.

The second bride was so delighted to be with her bridegroom again. She had reveled in dreams of the romance of their reunion. She was shocked to discern her bridegroom's disappointment at how unprepared she was for marriage, however. She was also grieved to realize that he was rightly jealous of the attention she had given to the deceivers she had cultivated relationships with. Her selfish insistence on focusing almost exclusively on pleasurable phone conversations and her negligence in disciplining herself to learn of her bridegroom's inclinations and desires from his journal, seriously handicapped her ability to bring him pleasure now.

The third bride had become so attuned to her bridegroom's tastes, and had cultivated such an alertness to even the slightest hints in his voice, that by the time of their wedding, there were few adjustments to make. She had prepared her wedding gown according to his instructions. As a result of their frequent conversations, she was prepared to follow his lead and respond to his cues. As a result of thoroughly and consistently filling her mind and imagination with what he had written in his journal, she was consistently prepared to mentally anticipate what was likely to please him. Thus she found her abandoned fulfillment in his great delight in the depth of her companionship.

	1. Written by Ross on 18-12-2007 12:37 - Registered
	Without wanting to disagree with the core of what Jonathan was saying: as I grow older, I have increasing sympathy for the position of the first bride, in one critical respect: Guidance for decision-making. I am surely not the only Christian who has taken action based on what I thought God was \"telling me\" and then found the whole thing go belly-up. Jonathan talks at length (elsewhere) about discerning God\'s will for marriage, as if there is one specific person for us (I\'m single, so this issue is some relevance). However, I have known of many people who thought that they have heard from God and ...... In the guidance context as a whole, reformed Christians emphasise staying within the bounds of Scripture \"and then using your brains once you are inside the fence\" - that God does not have that specific a will for our lives outside of what Scripture tells us as to how we should live. The providence of God can be relied upon for the balance. Views? Report

	2. Written by Lawrence on 26-11-2007 06:29 - Registered
	I appreciate Jonathan’s desire in the story to help people go after having a good relationship with the Lord by keeping in His Word and prayer. I think the Word of God clearly teaches we need to mediate on God’s Word and to go to God in prayer to listen to Him, believing Him to give us wisdom for some particulars in our life. Like God did in Acts 16 in telling Paul where to go next in his missionary journey. James 1:5 and the rest of Scriptures teach us that if we lack wisdom to ask of God and He will give it to us. I hope people though will not think we can get too caught up in loving God’s Word or trying to understand God’s Word, Some people today miss use verses, tell stories, etc to hint that we can be to caught up in God’s Word. There is no warning about this in the Bible. I know of no one that is too much in love with the Word of God, but we all our tempted to not give enough time to it and to not be willing to put what we do learn into practice and this includes James 1:5. 1 Timothy 3:14-17 and Joshua 1:8 with it’s context give us a great guarantee of grace that we all need to take God up on “This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.” Report